One day it dawned on me that I really do not understand how women think and feel at all. I was told about a new book that came out titled: “What Men Know About Women.” It was a really thick book, but when it was opened, the pages were all blank! I found this to be pretty true. I was pretty clueless.

LaVerne grew up in a home of outward processors. They were much more verbal in their communication than my family. I grew up in a home of inward processors, where my parents never had an argument in front of their children. So when LaVerne was quick to tell me her thoughts and opinions, I did not know how to respond. I felt devastated. I basically just kept it all inside which really frustrated LaVerne. Early in our marriage this opened the door for a very difficult season in our marriage relationship.

With our dysfunctional communication we came to the place that we felt we may have married the wrong person. It was a dark time. We finally went to a marriage counselor to try to save our marriage. It was the best thing we could have done. It really did save our marriage. If you need help, humble yourself and reach out to a counselor who can help you. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

This year we experience 45 years of marriage. We often tell people; 44 really good years, and one really hard year. Our God has been amazingly faithful to us. We really are more in love today than at any time during the past 45 years. If you want to read more about what we learned during some difficult times, check out our new book coming out in a few weeks: “Battle Cry for Your Marriage” co-written with three other couples.