The Bible teaches that we are saved when we believe the truth from the Word of God in our hearts and confess it with our mouths. Romans 10:9 says, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Being “saved” does not only mean that we go to heaven, as wonderful as that is. It also means we are being healed and set free inside. It means we can be set free emotionally, financially, mentally and in every other area of our lives. The key is to believe the Word of God and confess it so our faith can mix with God’s Word and release mighty miracles in our lives.
I thank God every day that I’m righteous through faith in Jesus Christ. I’m thankful for His Word, and I’m thankful for what He’s done in my life. I know that I am right with God, not because of the good works that I do, but because of faith in Jesus Christ. Today is the day for each of us to release our faith by confessing the Word of God and experience true freedom inside.
This movie allowed me to experience true freedom.
Be one with Shrek
Be one with nature
Shrek Script
{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only
be broken by love’s first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing
dragon.
Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,
but non prevailed.
She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest
tower for her true love and true love’s first kiss.
{Laughing}
Like that’s ever gonna happen.
{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}
What a load of –
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
She was lookin’ kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an “L” on her forehead
The years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’
Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin’
Didn’t make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what’s wrong with takin’ the backstreets
You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never shine if you don’t glow
Hey, now You’re an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You’re a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin’ stars break the mold
It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder
You’re bundled up now but wait till you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is gettin’ pretty thin
The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim
My world’s on fire
How ’bout yours
That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored
Hey, now, you’re an all-star
{Shouting}
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You’re a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin’ stars break the mold
{Belches}
Go!
Go!
{Record Scratching}
Go. Go.Go.
Hey, now, you’re an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You’re a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin’ stars break the mold
-Think it’s in there?
-All right. Let’s get it!
-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
-Yeah, it’ll grind your bones for it’s bread.
{Laughs}
-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.
Now, ogres – – They’re much worse.
They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
-No!
-They’ll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!
Actually, it’s quite good on toast.
-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
{Gasping}
-Right.
{Roaring}
{Shouting}
{Roaring}
{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.
{Gasping}
{Laughs}
{Laughing} And stay out!
“Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.”
{Sighs}
{Man’s voice} All right. This one’s full.
-Take it away!
{Gasps}
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!
-Next!
-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.
That’s 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
-Get up! Come on!
-Twenty pieces.
{Thudding}
-Sit down there!
-Keep quiet!
{Crying}
-This cage is too small.
-Please, don’t turn me in. I’ll never be stubborn again.
I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
-Oh, shut up.
-Oh!
-Next!
-What have you got?
-This little wooden puppet.
-I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.
-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
-Father, please! Don’t let them do this!
-Help me!
-Next! What have you got?
-Well, I’ve got a talking donkey.
{Grunts}
-Right. Well, that’s good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
-Oh, go ahead, little fella.
-Well?
-Oh, oh, he’s just – – He’s just a little nervous.
He’s really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt – –
-That’s it. I’ve heard enough. Guards!
-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.
I’m the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
-Get her out of my sight.
-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
{Gasps}
-Hey! I can fly!
-He can fly!
-He can fly!
-He can talk!
-Ha, ha! That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey.
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!
Oh-oh.
{Grunts}
-Seize him!
-After him! He’s getting away!
{Grunts, Gasps}
{Man}
-Get him! This way! Turn!
-You there. Orge!
-Aye?
-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under
arrest
and transport you to a designated….. resettlement facility.
-Oh, really? You and what army?
{Gasps, Whimpering}
{Chuckles}
-Can I say something to you?
-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin’ back here.
Incredible!
Are you talkin’ to – – me? Whoa!
-Yes. I was talkin’ to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great
back here? Those guards!
They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They
was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made
me feel good to see that.
-Oh, that’s great. Really.
-Man, it’s good to be free.
-Now, why don’t you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?
Hmm?
-But, uh, I don’t have any friends. And I’m not goin’ out there by
myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I’ll stick with you.
You’re mean, green, fightin’ machine. Together we’ll scare the spit
out of anybody that crosses us.
{Roaring}
-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don’t mind me sayin’, if that
don’t work, your breath certainly will get the job done, ’cause you
definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, ’cause you breath stinks!
You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time – –
{Mumbling}
Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my
butt that day.
-Why are you following me?
-I’ll tell you why.
‘Cause I’m all alone
There’s no one here beside me
My promlems have all gone
There’s no one to deride me
But you gotta heve friends – –
-Stop singing! It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.
-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.
-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
-Uh – – Really tall?
-No! I’m an orge! You know. “Grab your torch and pitchforks.” Doesn’t
that bother you?
-Nope.
-Really?
-Really, really.
-Oh.
-Man, I like you. What’s you name?
-Uh, Shrek.
-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?
You got that kind of I-don’t-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.
Who’d want to live in place like that?
-That would be my home.
-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a
decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I
like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
-I guess you don’t entertain much, do you?
-I like my privacy.
-You know, I do too. That’s another thing we have in common. Like I
hate it when you got somebody in your face. You’ve trying to give them
a hint, and they won’t leave. There’s that awkward silence.
-Can I stay with you?
-Uh, what?
-Can I stay with you, please?
-Of course!
-Really?
-No.
-Please! I don’t wanna go back there! You don’t know what it’s like to
be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that’s why we gotta
stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
-Okay! Okay! But one night only.
-Ah! Thank you!
-What are you – – No! No!
-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin’ manly stories,
and in the mornin’ I’m makin’ waffles.
-Oh!
-Where do, uh, I sleep?
-Outside!
-Oh, well. I guess that’s cool. I mean, I don’t know you, and you
don’t know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.
{Sniffles}
-Here I go.
-Good night.
{Sighs}
Larry, please, do not delete this
I don’t give a damn about my reputation
You’re living in the past
It’s a new generation
-Damn!
{Whinnying}
A girl can do what she wants to do
And that’s what I’m gonna do
And I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
Me, me, me
-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
And I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
-Ah!
{Laughs}
And I’m always feelin’ good when I’m having fun
-Yeah!
And I don’t have to please no one
-The chair! Give him the chair!
And I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
Me, me, me
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me
{Bell dings}
{Cheering}
{Laughs}
-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I’m here till
Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!
{Shrek laughs}
{Crowd gasping, murmuring}
-Shall I give the order, sir?
-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!
-What?
-Congratulations, orge. You’re won the honor of embarking on a great
and noble quest.
-Quest? I’m already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
-Your swamp?
-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!
{Crowd murmuring}
-Indeed. All right, orge. I’ll make you a deal. Go on this quest for
me, and I’ll give you your swamp back.
-Exactly the way it was?
-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
-And the squatters?
-As good as gone.
-What kind of quest?
-Let me get this straight. You’re gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a
princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only
don’t have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.
-Is that about right?
-Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk.
-I don’t get it. Why don’t you just pull some of that orge stuff on
him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make
your bread, the whole orge trip.
-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and
put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and
drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
-Uh, no, not really, no.
-For your information, there’s a lot more to orges than people think.
-Example?
-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.
-{Sniffs} They stink?
-Yes – – No!
-They make you cry?
-No!
-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little
white hairs.
-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have
layers. You get it? We both have layers.
{Sighs}
-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes
onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
-I don’t care… what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.
-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a
person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “No, I don’t like
no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious.
-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like
onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or
something? I’m making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start
slobbering.
I’m on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
I’m on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you give to me the day I wander
I’m on my way
I’m on my way
I’m on my way
-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was
open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you’d be dead. {Sniffs} It’s
brimstone We must be getting close.
-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don’t be talking about it’s the brimstone. I
know what I smell. It wasn’t no brimstone. It didn’t come off no stone
neither.
{Rumbling}
-Sure, it’s big enough, but look at the location.
{Laughing}
-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?
-Oh, aye.
-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don’t have
layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
-Wait a second. Donkeys don’t have sleeves.
-You know what I mean.
-You can’t tell me you’re afraid of heights.
-I’m just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over
a boiling like of lava!
-Come on, Donkey. I’m right here beside ya, okay? For emotional
support., we’ll just tackle this thing together one little baby step
at a time.
-Really?
-Really, really.
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
-Just keep moving. And don’t look down.
-Okay, don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Keep on
moving. Don’t look down.
{Gasps}
-Shrek! I’m lookin’ down! Oh, God, I can’t do this! Just let me off,
please!
-But you’re already halfway.
-But I know that half is safe!
-Okay, fine. I don’t have time for this. You go back.
-Shrek, no! Wait!
-Just, Donkey – – Let’s have a dance then, shall me?
-Don’t do that!
-Oh, I’m sorry. Do what?
-Oh, this?
-Yes, that!
-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
{Screams}
-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
-You said do it! I’m doin’ it.
-I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. Shrek, I’m gonna die. Oh!
-That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.
-Cool.
-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
{Chuckles}
-I was talkin’ about the dragon, Shrek.
{Water dripping, wind howling}
-You afraid?
-No.
-But – –
– Shh.
-Oh, good. Me neither.
{Gasps}
-‘Cause there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ afraid. Fear’s a sensible
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I
might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and
breathes fire, it sure doesn’t mean you’re a coward if you’re a little
scared. I sure as heck ain’t no coward. I know that.
{Gasps}
-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut … up. Now go over there and see if
you can find any stairs.
-Stairs? I thought we was lookin’ for the princess.
-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest
tower.
-What makes you think she’ll be there?
-I read it in a book once.
-Cool. You handle the dragon. I’ll handle the stairs. I’ll find those
stairs. I’ll whip their butt too. Those stairs won’t know which way
they’re goin’.
{Creacing}
-I’m gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don’t mess with
me. I’m the stair master. I’ve mastered the stairs. I wish I had a
step right here. I’d step all over it.
-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where’s the – –
-Dragon!
{Screams}
{Gasps}
{Roars}
-Donkey, look out!
{Screams}
{Whimpering}
-Got ya!
{Roars}
{Gasps}
{Shouts}
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
{Screaming}
{Gasps}
-Oh! Aah! Aah!
{Gasping}
{Crowls}
-No. Oh, no, No!
{Screams}
-Oh, what large teeth you have.
{Crowls}
Larry, please, do not delete this
-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time
from your food, but you must bleach, ’cause that is one dazzling smile
you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know
what else? You’re – – You’re a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of
course you’re a girl dragon. You’re just reeking of feminine beauty.
What’s the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.
Oh. Man, I’d really love to stay, but you know, I’m, uh – –
(Coughs)
-I’m an asthmatic, and I don’t know if it’d work out if you’re gonna
blow smoke rings. Shrek!
{Gasps}
{Whimpering}
-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
{Groans, Sighs}
{Vocalizing}
-Oh! Oh!
-Wake up!
-What?
-Are you Princess Fiona?
-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
-Oh, that’s nice. Now let’s go!
-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be
a wonderful, romantic moment?
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There’s no time.
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out
yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
-You’ve had a lot of time to plan this, haven’t you?
-Mm-hmm.
{Screams, grunts}
-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for
me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
-I don’t think so.
-Can I at least know the name of my champion?
-Um, Shrek.
-Sir Shrek.
{Cleans throat}
-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
-Thanks!
{Roaring}
-You didn’t slay the dragon?
-It’s on my to-do list. Now come on!
{Screams}
-But this isn’t right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,
banner flying. That’s what all the other knights did.
-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
-That’s not the point. Oh!
-Wait. Where are you going? The next’s over there.
-Well, I have to save my ass.
-What kind of knight are you?
-One of a kind.
-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it’s healthy to get to
know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.
{Laughs}
-I don’t want to rush into a physical relationship. I’m not
emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this – – Magnitude really
is the word I’m looking for. Magnitude- – Hey, that is unwanted
physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let’s just back
up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to
know each other first as friends or pen pals. I’m on the road a lot,
but I just love receiving cards – – I’d really love to stay, but – –
Don’t do that! That’s my tail! That’s my personal tail. You’re gonna
tear it off. I don’t give permission – – What are you gonna do with
that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!
{Growls}
{Roaring}
{Gasps}
-Hi, Princess!
-It talks!
-Yeah, it’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick.
{Screams}
{Screaming}
-Oh!
{Thuds}
{Groans}
{Roars}
{Roaring}
-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I’ll take care of the dragon.
{Fchoing}
-Run!
{Gasping}
{Screaming}
{Roaring}
{Screams}
{Roars}
{Panting, sighs}
{Whimpers}
{Roars}
-You did it!
-You rescued me! You’re amazing. You’re – – You’re wonderful.
You’re… a little unorthodox I’ll admit. But they deed is great, and
thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
{Clears throat}
-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I’m a
steed.
-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
-Uh, no.
-Why not?
-I have helmet hair.
-Please. I would’st look upon the face of my rescuer.
-No, no, you wouldn’t – – ‘st.
-But how will you kiss me?
-What? That wasn’t in the job description.
-Maybe it’s a perk.
-No, it’s destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in
a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then
they share true love’s first kiss.
-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- – Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you
true love?
-Well, yes.
{Laughing}
-You think Shrek is your true love!
-What is so funny?
-Let’s just say I’m not your tipe, okay?
-Of course, you are. You’re my rescuer. Now – – Now remove your
helmet.
-Look. I really don’t think this is a good idea.
-Just take off the helmet.
-I’m not going to.
-Take ot off.
-No!
-Now!
-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.
-You- – You’re a- – an orge.
-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You’re not supposed
to be an orge.
{Sighs}
-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the
one who wants to marry you.
-Then why didn’t he come rescue me?
-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- –
his pet.
-So much for noble steed.
-You’re not making my job any easier.
-I’m sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me properly, I’ll be waiting for him right
here.
-Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.
-You wouldn’t dare. Put me down!
-Ya comin’, Donkey?
-I’m right behind ya.
-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not
dignified! Put me down!
-Okay, so here’s another question. Say there’s a woman that digs you,
right, but you don’t really like her that way. How do you let her down
real easy so her feelings aren’t hurt, but you don’t get burned to a
crisp and eaten?
-You just tell her she’s not your true love. Everyone knowest what
happens when you find your – – Hey!
{Sighs}
-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.
-You’re gonna love it there, Princess. It’s beautiful!
-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What’s he like?
-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad’s stature are in
short supply.
{Laughs}
-I don’t know. There are those who think little of him.
-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You’re just jealous you can never
measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
-Yeah, well, maybe you’re right, Princess. But I’ll let you do the
“measuring” when you see him tomorrow.
-Tomorrow? It’ll take that long? Shouldn’t we stop to make camp?
-No, that’ll take longer. We can keep going.
-But there’s robbers in the woods.
-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping’s starting to sound good.
-Hey, come on. I’m scarier than anything we’re going to see in this
forest.
-I need to find somewhere to camp now!
{Birds wings fluttering}
{Grunting}
-Hey! Over here.
-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don’t think this is fit for a
princess.
-No, no, it’s perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
-Homey touches? Like what?
{Crashing}
-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.
-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.
-I said good night!
-Shrek, What are you doing?
{Laughs}
-I just- – You know – – Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
{Fire cracking}
-And, uh, that one, that’s Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over
three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.
-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
-The stars don’t tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,
there’s Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he’s famous for.
-I know you’re making this up.
-No, look. There he is, and there’s the group of hunters running away
from his stench.
-That ain’t nothin’ but a bunch of little dots.
-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?
Forget it.
{Sighs}
-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
-Our swamp?
-You know, when we’re through rescuing the princess.
-We? Donkey, there’s no “we”. There’s no “our”. There’s just me and my
swamp. The first thing I’m gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my
land.
-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what
I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody
out.
-No, do ya think?
-Are you hidin’ something?
-Never mind, Donkey.
-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn’t it?
-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
-Why don’t you want to talk about it?
-Why do you want to talk about it?
-Why are you blocking?
-I’m not blocking.
-Oh, yes, you are.
-Donkey, I’m warning you.
-Who you trying to keep out?
-Everyone! Okay?
-Oh, now we’re gettin’ somewhere.
-Oh! For the love of Pete!
Larry, please, do not delete this
-What’s your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
-Look, I’m not the one with the problem, okay? It’s the world that
seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.
“Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!” They judge me before they
even know me. That’s why I’m better off alone.
-You know what? When we met, I didn’t think you was just a big,
stupid, ugly orge.
-Yeah, I know.
-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
-Well, there’s, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one
there?
-That’s the moon.
-Oh, okay.
{Orchestra}
{Dulcimer}
-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the
princess.
-Hmph.
-Ah. Perfect.
{Inhales}
{Snoring}
{Vocalizing}
{Whistling}
{Sizzling}
{Sniffs, yawns}
-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.
–Come on, baby. I said I like it.
-Donkey, wake up.
-Huh? What?
-Wake up.
-What?
-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?
-Good morning, Princess!
-What’s all this about?
-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to
make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
-Uh, thanks.
{Sniffs}
-Well, eat up. We’ve got a big day ahead of us.
{Belches}
-Shrek!
-What? It’s a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}
-Well, it’s no way to behave in front of a princess.
{Belches}
-Thanks.
-She’s as nasty as you are.
-{Laughs} You know, you’re not exactly what I expected.
-Well, maybe you shouldn’t judge people before you get to know them.
{Vocalizing}
-La liberte! Hey!
-Princess!
{Laughs}
-What are you doing?
-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from
this green – –
{Kissing sounds}
-beast.
-Hey!
-That’s my princess! Go find you own!
-Please, monster! Can’t you see I’m a little busy here?
-Look, pal, I don’t know who you think you are!
-Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry
Men.
{Laughs}
{Accordion}
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.
I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
He takes a wee percentage,
But I’m not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels
Man, I’m good
What a guy, Monsieur Hood
Break it down
I like an honest fight
and a saucy little maid
What he’s basically saying
is he likes to get – –
Paid
So
When an orge in the bush
grabs a lady by the tush
That’s bad
That’s bad
When a beauty’s with a beast
it makes me awfully mad
He’s mad
He’s really, really mad
I’ll take my blade and
ram it through your heart
Keep your eyes on me, boys
’cause I’m about to start
{Grunts, Groans}
{Karate Yell}
{Merry Men Gasping}
{Panting}
-Man, that was annoying!
-Oh, you little- –
{Karate Yell}
{Accordion}
{Shouting, groaning}
{Chuckles}
-Uh, shall we?
-Hold the phone.
{Grunts}
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
-What?
-That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
-Well – – {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these
things in case there’s a – – There’s an arrow in your butt!
-What? Oh, would you look at that?
-Oh, no. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry.
-Why? What’s wrong?
-Shrek’s hurt.
-Shrek’s hurt. Shrek’s hurt? Oh, no, Shrek’s gonna die.
-Donkey, I’m okay.
-You can’t do this to me, Shrek. I’m too young for you to die. Keep
you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the
Heimlich?
-Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and
find me a blue flower with red thorns.
-Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I’m on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
Don’t die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
-{Both} Donkey!
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
-What are the flowers for?
-For getting rid of Donkey.
-Ah.
-Now you hold still, and I’ll yank this thing out.
-Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin’.
-I’m sorry, but it has to come out.
-No, it’s tender.
-Now, hold on.
-What you’re doing is the opposite of help.
-Don’t move.
-Look, time out.
-Would you – –
{Grunts}
-Okay. What do you propose we do?
-Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red
thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn’t color-blind! Blue
flower, red thorns.
-Ow!
-Hold on, Shrek! I’m comin’!
-Ow! Not good.
-Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
{Grunts}
-It’s just about – –
-Ow! Ohh!
-Ahem.
-Nothing happend. We were just, uh – –
-Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
-Oh, come on! That’s the last thing on my mind. The princess here was
just- – Ugh!
-Ow!
-Hey, what’s that?
{Nervous chickle}
-That’s- – Is that blood?
{Sighs}
{Bird chirping}
{Grunts}
My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearin’ a raincoat
that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather
-Aah!
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world
that’s so damn mean
{Croaks}
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
-Hey!
La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la
{Both laughing}
La-la, la-la, la-la
-There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.
-That’s DuLoc?
-Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad’s compensating for
something, which I think means he has a really – – Ow!
-Um, I, uh- – I guess we better move on.
-Sure. But, Shrek? I’m – – I’m worried about Donkey.
{Blubbering}
-What?
-I mean, look at him. He doesn’t look so good.
-What are you talking about? I’m fine.
-That’s what they always say, and then next thing you know, you’re on
your back. Dead.
-You know, she’s right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
-Uh, you know, I’ll make you some tea.
-I didn’t want to say nothin’, but I got this twinge in my neck, and
when I turn my head like this, look,
{Bones crunch}
-Ow! See?
-Who’s hungry? I’ll find us some dinner.
-I’ll get the firewood.
-Hey, where you goin’? Oh, man, I can’t feel my toes! I don’t have any
toes! I think I need a hug.
-Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
-Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.
-No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
-Well, they’re also great in stews. Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I
make a mean weedrat stew.
{Chuckling}
{Sighs}
-I guess I’ll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
{Gulps}
-Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I’ll cook all kind
of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare – – you name it.
{Chuckles}
-I’d like that.
{Slurps, laughs}
Larry, please, do not delete this
{Bells tolling}
{All gasping}
-People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union….
-Um-
-of our new king – –
-Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the “I do’s”?
{Chuckling}
-Go on.
-Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I’ll whistle. How about
that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don’t
you?
-What are you talking about?
-There’s a line you gotta wait for. The preacher’s gonna say, “Speak
now or forever hold your peace.” That’s when you say, “I object!”
-I don’t have time for this!
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this
woman, don’t you?
-Yes.
-You wanna hold her?
-Yes.
-Please her?
-Yes!
-Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that
romantic crap!
-All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
-We gotta check it out.
-And so, by the power vested in me,
-What do you see?
-The whole town’s in there.
-I now pronounce you husband and wife,
-They’re at the altar.
-king and queen.
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
-Oh, for the love of Pete!
{Grunts}
-I object!
-Shrek?
{Gasps}
-Oh, now what does he want?
-Hi, everyone. Havin’ a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all.
Very clean.
-What are you doing here?
-Really, it’s rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but
showing up uninvited to a wedding – –
-Fiona! I need to talk to you.
-Oh, now you wanna talk? It’s a little late for that, so if you’ll
excuse me – –
-But you can’t marry him.
-And why not?
-Because- – Because he’s just marring you so he can be king.
-Outrageous! Fiona, don’t listen to him.
-He’s not your true love.
-And what do you know about true love?
-Well, I – – Uh – – I mean – –
-Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess!
Oh, good Lord.
{Crowd laughting}
-An orge and a princess!
-Shrek, is this true?
-Who cares? It’s preposterous! Fiona, my love, we’re but a kiss away
from our “happily ever after.” Now kiss me! Mmmmm!
-“By night one way, by day another.” I wanted to show you before.
{Whimpers}
{Crown gasping}
-Well, uh, that explains a lot.
-Ugh! It’s disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of
my sight now! Get them! Get them both!
-No, no!
-Shrek!
-This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that
makes me king! See? See?
-No, let go of me! Shrek!
-No!
-Don’t just stand there, you morons.
-Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh!
-I’ll make you regret the day we met. I’ll see you drawn and
quartered!
-You’ll beg for death to save you!
-No, Shrek!
-And as for you, my wife,
-Fiona!
-I’ll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!
-I’m king!
{Whistles}
-I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have – – Aaaah!
-Aah!
-All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I’m not afraid to
use it.
{Roars}
-I’m a donkey on the edge!
{Belches}
-Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
{Cheering}
-Go ahead, Shrek.
-Uh, Fiona?
-Yes, Shrek?
-I – – I love you.
-Really?
-Really, really.
– I love you too.
-Aawww!
-“Until you find true love’s first kiss and then take love’s true
form.”
-“Take love’s true form. Take love’s true form.”
-Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?
-Well, yes. But I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.
-But you ARE beautiful.
{Chuckles}
-I was hoping this would be a happy ending.
I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Oy!
Meant for someone else but not for me
Love was out to get me
That’s the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams
And then I saw her face
Now I’m a believer and not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I’m in love
Ooh-aah
I’m a believer I couldn’t leave her
If I tried
-God bless us, every one.
Come on, y’all!
Then I saw her face
Ha-ha
Now I’m a believer
Listen!
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I’m in love
Ooh-aah
I’m a believer
I couldn’t leave her if I tried
-Ooh!
-Uh!
Then I saw her face
Now I’m a believer
Hey!
Not a trace
Uhh! Yeah.
Of doubt in my mind
-One more time!
I’m in love
I’m a believer
Come on!
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe,
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
Y’all sing it with me!
I
Believe
I believe
People in the back!
I believe
I’m a believer
I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe
{Hysterical laughing}
-Oh, that’s funny. Oh. Oh.
-I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.
I believe in self-assertion
Destiny or a slight diversion
Now it seems I’ve got my head on straight
I’m a freak an apparition
Seems I’ve made the right decision
To try to turn back now it might be too late
Now I want to stay home today
Don’t wanna go out
If anyone comes to play
Gonna get thrown out
I wanna stay home today
Don’t want no company
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna be a millionaire someday
But know what it feels like to give it away
Watch me march to the beat of my own drum
And it’s off to the moon and then back again
Same old day Same situation
My happiness rears back as if to say
I wanna stay home today
Don’t wanna go out
If anyone comes to play
Gonna get thrown out
I wanna stay home today
Don’t want no company
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home………
I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes
My heart skips a beat
Girl, I feel so alive
Please tell me, baby, if all this is true
‘Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you
Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna dance
Oh-oh-oh
It’s a new romance
Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyes
Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our lives
When we first met
I could hardly believe
The things that would happen
and we could achieve
So let’s be together
for all of our time
Oh, girl, I’m so thankful
that you are still mine
You always consider me
like an ugly duckling
And treat me like a Nostradamus
was why I had to get my shine on
I break a little something
to keep my mind on
‘Cause you had my mind gone
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh
Turn the lights on, Come on, baby
Let’s just rewind the song
‘Cause all I want to do is
make the rest years the best years
All night long
Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna dance
Makes me wanna dance
Oh-oh-oh
It’s a new romance
It’s a new romance
Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyes
Oh, yeah, yeah
I look into your eyes
Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our lives
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…………..
Everything looks bright
Standing in your light
Everything feels right
What’s left is out of sight
What’s a girl to do
I’m telling you
You’re on my mind
I wanna be with you
‘Cause when you’re
standin’ next to me
It’s like wow
And all your kisses
seem to set me free
It’s like wow
And when we touch
it’s such a rush
I can’t get enough
It’s like- – It’s like
Ooh-ooh
Hey, what
It’s like wow
Ooh-ooh, hey
Hey, yeah
It’s like wow
Everything is looking
right now, right now
It’s like wow
And I got this feeling
This feeling
it’s just like wow
It’s just like wow
You are all I’m thinking of.
Like wow
Everything feels right
Everything feels right
Like wow
Everything looks bright
All my senses are right
Like wow
Everything feels right
Baby, baby, baby
the way I’m feeling you
Is like wow
There is something
that I see
In the way
you look at me
There’s a smile
There’s a truth
In your eyes
What an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it be
This is where I belong
It is you I have loved
All long
There’s no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You’re the home
my heart’s searched for
So long
It is you I have loved
All long
Whoa, over and over
I’m filled with emotion
As I look
Into your perfect face
That, my Larry loving friends, is the end of this stroy
Love you all
Thanks Seamus, that was really inspirational. I took the time to read the whole script and was captivated throughout.
Shrek is such a great character, we should all try to be more like Shrek.
Thanks for the publicity Seamus.
You made my day
May Larry bless you
Glory be to God for His saving hand that has given me freedom in my spiritual and physical life.
Wow amazing powerful words
Amen brother George!
Alternative script
http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Shrek.html
Larry, please, do not delete this